Emotional Incongruency

This horse will not tolerate emotional incongruence of any kind. There is no "faking it" with this guy. Not anymore. There is no room for anybody else's BS in his world. 

On our good days, when I have my act together, he rewards me. But the second my mind wanders, he slams the door in my face.

As I've realized where I need to step up, he's drawn a line in the sand, as if to say "You know better, now do better." 

I've been pretty quiet on here, because the door has been closed for a few months. I've been oscillating between figuring out how to open that door again and whether I'm even worthy enough to cross that threshold. 

As I've been figuring out my limits, he's clearly asserted his. He's showing me his own way of modeling boundaries, and asserting that I need to continue showing up authentically every day. 

That two faced BS I despise in others harkens to the mask I had to cultivate early in my life. All those years of people telling me I needed to smile while I was screaming inside, denying my own feelings for the sake of others comfort, the hundreds if not thousands of times I said "I'm fine" when I really wasn't. 

He's not going to let me do that anymore.

Every step closer to true connection and harmony demands a skilled level of presence and intention.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but that light emanates from a fire I need to cultivate from within.

If you can take a step back and open up to truly listening, your horse can provide you with invaluable feedback, though a lot of it can be difficult to swallow.